The Nacilbupera Guzzle

Whoever examines with attention the history of the dearths and famines … will find, I believe, that a dearth never has arisen from any combination among the inland dealers in corn, nor from any other cause but a real scarcity, occasioned sometimes perhaps, and in some particular places, by the waste of war, but in by far the greatest number of cases by the fault of the seasons; and that a famine has never arisen from any other cause but the violence of government attempting, by improper means, to remedy the inconveniences of a dearth. (Adam Smith, The Wealth of Nations IV.5.44)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Top ten reasons NOT to vote for Cherilyn Eagar (Update)

A discussion today in another forum prompted the idea for this post as well as garnishing the coveted top reason NOT to vote for Cherilyn Eagar. We have compiled a list of actual, mostly-sexist arguments made by different people over the past months why one shouldn't vote for Eagar. After the reason, we give our comment in italics which in some cases might be meant to be taken humorously. Enjoy.


(#10) She attacks other candidates on issues.
--Now Cheri, go be a good girl and give Mikey, Timmy, and Bobby a hug and tell ‘em you’re sorry and you’ll never ever say anything bad about their positions again!

(#9) She’s been engaged in undefined “very unseemly behavior.”
--How dare she! Say, btw, where's that "" bookmark anyhows?

(#8) She wears too much makeup.
--Don’t worry: NuSkin & Neways are picking up the tab and Bennett will teach Cherilyn how to slip them a big earmark.

(#7) She’s been married “multiple times” with “multiple divorces”
--Whoot! “Big Love” Sister!

(#6) She’s “dumb as a rock”
--Stupid Delicate Arch! Stop trying to act like so smart!

(#5) She is endorsed by an “egg club” and a plumber
--Yeah and what’s worse is the egg club doesn’t even produce Omega-3 brown eggs!

(#4) She spent time in jail for forging a bunch of voter registrations
--She bared her forearm tattoos, too, during a recent teaching moment at school!

(#3) She says you should vote for her because she is a woman
--And husbands, the wives say if you don’t vote for her, there might be a LDS missionary shortage in two decades.

(#2) A woman’s place is in the home / women don’t belong in politics
--Sorry, can’t comment. Too busy putting on the ‘ol wifebeater right now.


(#1) A GOP website hyphenates her surname “Bacon-Eagar
--Cherilyn’s true feminazi nature is at last revealed! Someone quick! Call Gayle Ruzicka and get the phone tree going—there’s a demonsheep about!

+++ Update 3/13:
The website that had listed Cherilyn's surname as "Bacon-Eager" [sic] in reason #1 above has now correctly updated her surname to "Eagar." Someone got the message. Btw, no one has complained yet but to be clear in advance no negative is meant to be conveyed in the use of Ruzicka's name who is a true patriot and Nuskin/Neways who are huge employers in our county and provide a great tax revenue for our county. This is political satire, folks.

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